Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
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If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont even know how to be here
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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