Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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