So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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