How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
then he tried to convert me to islam
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
