the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
