I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize