are you so shy because you have an std?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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