Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He did a backflip because drugs
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