I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
