possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
