people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
