Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
