he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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