i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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