i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
