I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
