They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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