shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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