To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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