Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
