Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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