my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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