i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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