You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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