my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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