I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
