I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
