ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When are your genitals available?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
