I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
