Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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