What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize