Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize