do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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