So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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