This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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