I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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