New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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