can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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