I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
