i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
try to milk me bitch
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