Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize