Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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