shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
