He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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