Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
