Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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