Say something about gay babies.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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