Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me