im drinking this country out of the recession.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos