Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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