I'm pants shitting drunk right now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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