What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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