You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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