Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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