I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
