You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
