You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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