my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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