Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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