I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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