No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
