Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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