I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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