we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
