so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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