I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
