Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
