Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
