Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
